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 Post subject: Re: masculine queers
PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 9:44 am 
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Marcelo wrote:
It is true what you say, Rebel. Maybe it is not so important to be masculino or not. Who make it important? Men that do not know who they are, who need to look at other man to see how they must be and act? I think this is very silly thing. For me, it is important that other sexy man like me, not so important maybe what women want for me to be other than good friend. And straight man can be problem sometime but also how important is it what they think? They not pay my rent they not buy my clothes for me (I like that if they want! :D ) so if they think I am masculino or not is not so important really.


I find this to be so refreshing, Marcelo, and I think you are absolutely right. How important is it really whether we are seen as masculine or not? Why should we give a rat's ass on how straight men or women see us other than as the good people we are inside? And why should we, as gays, even find this such a big issue is incomprehensible. It's old and it needs to be laid to rest, IMO.

(Not the topic, I mean, but the importance of appearing masculine or being masculine as a male.)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 7:57 pm 
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I can see where you guys are coming from, meaning that I understand and agree to a point. But I think masculinity in a man is important. I'm simply more attracted to masculine men than to effeminate men, though not exclusively so. A guy I dated for 4 months was very effiminate and I think it was the closest I've ever come to meeting a soulmate. We split up for different reasons, not because he was more effiminate and I more masculine. He had a great sense of humor, could bitch his way out of a parking ticket and still demand respect wherever he went. I remember times that people would really look at him "in that way" because he was so blatantly gay and feminine but he never seemed to take notice of it or was always ready to confront any bigot with their shitty attitudes. In some ways he was more of man than I'll ever be.

And while I like my men to be more masculine our sex life was nothing short of great. He would be perfectly happy to be top so that stereotype that all effeminate men are also bottoms is simply not true either.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2007 9:08 pm 
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I am not so a macho man, I am only me, and I think it is not so important to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger or athletic man. I go to fitness to be healthy and look good but having many muscles is not so interesting to me. I think some men are naturally more macho than other men, and we should be who we are, not try and be something we are not. That only make you look silly.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 22, 2007 4:57 pm 
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Yeah but like sometimes you don't feel so good in your skin you know and then you're not very masculine even if you try to be. But you got it on the nose, Marcelo, it's more important to be who you are and what you wanna be than to try and be something or someone you're not. If I look at all the macho fags prancing around thinking that because they wear leather they're more man or shit like that I think 'get off it already, you'r a fag just like me.'

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 7:43 pm 
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We're all fags here, no doubt about that. LOL. We like to suck cock and take it up the ass, that's what makes us homosexuals. A man's body arouses us sexually and we are not interested in women sexually, that too makes us fags. Whether we are considered masculine sucking cock or getting fucked up the ass, to put it bluntly, is in the eye of the beholder, IMO. For me it doesn't detract from masculinity to be doing those things but others may see it differently.

I'm sure it's been said already but there are a lot of heterosexual guys out there that are not masculine at all. They're thin, no muscles, dweepy, etc. Who wants to call that masculine? They're male and they're straight - does that automatically make them masculine? No. So how important is it that gay men seem masculine? Not that much, really. We are who we are.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 2:53 pm 
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I agree with both of you, rebel and Mike, but in a man's world, where being manly is still considered to be the best by many, there is a lot of pressure to be manly or masculine at times, I think. Would you go to a job interview as a raving fag? Probably not. More likely you try to be as straight as possible. We all know too well, I think, that presenting yourself as a fag will get you judged on that, not on your qualifications. At least for a lot of jobs, like in a standard office environment or sales.

Maybe when the world accepts us who we are that we can be ourselves, if we are so inclined, and just be flamboyant at any job interview if we want. When people learn that masculine appearance has nothing to do with qualifications and that strength of character is quite separate from your sexuality. But I don't hold my breath, I adjust when necessary instead so I can get what I want.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:28 am 
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Marcus wrote:
Maybe when the world accepts us who we are that we can be ourselves, if we are so inclined, and just be flamboyant at any job interview if we want. When people learn that masculine appearance has nothing to do with qualifications and that strength of character is quite separate from your sexuality. But I don't hold my breath, I adjust when necessary instead so I can get what I want.


Yes, this constant adjustment to have to be accepted and treated like a normal human being is something that I am very happily laying to rest now that I'm retired. I never did too much of it, simply because I'm too much of a queen, and I can recall well the hurtful moments when, as you say, I was refused for one thing or another because it was obvious I was gay, and perhaps now I stand more of a chance of being gay bashed than ever before, but I've laid down that mantle of fake manliness and I am what I am whether other people like it or not.

And I can hear all you fags out there saying you have to be who you are but you all know damn well that we ALL have had to adjust once in a while because we wanted something badly enough to pretend to be other than we are.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 21, 2007 7:35 pm 
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JimSonna wrote:
And I can hear all you fags out there saying you have to be who you are but you all know damn well that we ALL have had to adjust once in a while because we wanted something badly enough to pretend to be other than we are.


I hate to admit it but yes, I do that too. Sometimes, to avoid stupid looks or plain aversion, you sort of know who you got in front of you, what type of person, I just plead guilty to being hetero. LOL.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 6:37 pm 
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Right. And if you're a queen like me you'd have a hard time of it, believe me. Even back then most people would look at me funny and once I moved to the city no one even pretended to treat me other than what I am, which was quite ok really. Since there was no hiding or pretending it helped me come out completely. And I may be the compleat fag but I never had any desires to dress up as a woman much. Did it a few times for fun but it was not my thing. I do like fashionable clothes and sometimes they can be quite feminine but I've never felt anything different than a gay MAN.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 7:25 pm 
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Be happy! :handwave:


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 8:42 pm 
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LOL - is that you on a Saturday night, Marcelo?
:happy0192:


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 5:24 am 
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11/03/07-11/05/07
Study: One Third of Male College Cheerleaders Had Gay Sex

ScienceDaily.com reports that in a study of male college cheerleaders who had played football in high school, more than one third of the subjects said they have had sexual relations with other men. Nineteen out of 47 subjects said they had engaged in sexual acts with other men, ranging from kissing to mutual masturbation and oral sex.

Sociologist Eric Anderson, who conducted the study, said the results show society's increasing acceptance of gays. He also said that many of the sexual acts were viewed by participants as different forms of hazing and team bonding.

"The evidence supports my assertion that homophobia is on the rapid decline among male team-sport athletes in North America at all levels of play," he writes in his study "Being Masculine Is Not About Whom You Sleep With: Heterosexual Athletes Contesting Masculinity and the One-Time Rule of Homosexuality." It will be published in the journal Sex Roles in January, according to ScienceDaily.com.

"My informants do not feel that their same-sex sex jeopardizes their socially perceived heterosexual identities, at least within the cheerleading culture," Anderson said. "In other words, having gay sex does not automatically make them gay in masculine peer culture." (The Advocate)

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 7:26 pm 
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Only one third? And how many of these college cheerleaders are screaming fags waiting to burst out of the closet and their pants?

Jumping and singing and dancing isn't exactly a straight boy's idea of fun and games, now is it?


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:56 am 
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victor wrote:
"My informants do not feel that their same-sex sex jeopardizes their socially perceived heterosexual identities, at least within the cheerleading culture," Anderson said. "In other words, having gay sex does not automatically make them gay in masculine peer culture." (The Advocate)


That all depends, if you're not having any hetero sex but only gay sex you're gay, not hetero. Otherwise I'd call it LYING and being in serious DENIAL.

And there is a big difference in playing it straight (the socially perceived heterosexual identities) and being straight. Most of us have played it straight at one time or another or are still playing it straight for outward appearances, work and social related reasons, etc. But that doesn't mean you're straight just because socially you're perceived as heterosexual. What nonsense.

Now if these cheerleaders have hot man to man sex because they're hornier than a dog and there's no easy pussy for them to get, that's different. It all comes down to what they would choose when presented with the choice of dick or pussy to play with. If they can have either, which one would they honestly feel more attracted to. That to me defines gay or straight.

Meanwhile, cheer on boys, SHOW US SOME ASS !! :grin:


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 28, 2008 4:52 pm 
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I think you're right in that, Mike. If these guys only have gay sex but act straight, that doesn't make them straight as far as their sexuality is concerned. It makes them stuck deep in the closet, IMO, as gay men. of course it's entirely up to them if they want to come out or not but for all intents and purposes they're gay not straight. Playing it straight, or as they say, socially perceived to be heterosexual, doesn't make you straight, it only makes you appear to be straight and that is NOT the same as being straight.

But we're talking about fairly young men here, perhaps they still believe that masculinity and heterosexuality are mutually inclusive and that it's not possible for a gay man to be masculine. Feeling both homosexual feelings as well as masculine may well confuse them. Give them some time I say.


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