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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 1:38 pm 
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i guess all kinds of control freaks are annyoing :grin:


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 3:11 pm 
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desertrat wrote:
i guess all kinds of control freaks are annyoing :grin:


Yes, they are. And the worst kind are the ones that turn out to be your boss. They don't have a real clue what's going on but in order to cover for that they do things that only makes your job more difficult and when you say something about it, as you must at one point, you get a typical "boss reply" like "it's my job" or something else useless and totally non-constructive.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 7:39 pm 
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I can remember a few like that. For me the worst control freak is a boyfriend. I really liked this guy a while ago and it seemed like we hit it off real well but he was always telling me what I should do and what we should do and where to go and if I said I was going to see a friend or friends he'd start with the cross examination like who and when and where and why can't I come and all this. It really started to irritate me after a while especially because he was making me feel guilty about nothing at all. I think that is what control freaks want, for you to be in doubt and be unsure because that is when they get their way all the time. He broke it off with me after a while because he said he couldn't count on me. Sure sure. I was glad to see him go, didn't get into it.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 3:51 pm 
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Yes, it's terrible to get a control freak over your head. My brother is a type like that - it's always his way or the highway. But we're not kids anymore and I usually tell him to go do something creative with himself when he starts up.
:happy0192:

I think control freaks have some serious self-doubt which outs itself as something like wanting to control everything. It's a way to boost their own lack of self-confidence, maybe.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:03 pm 
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The bigotry that keeps Aids alive

The spread of HIV will go on until gay men can seek treatment without fearing for their safety

By David Furnish
Wednesday, 1 December 2010

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Cubans rally against homophobia, which is rampant in the Caribbean
GETTY IMAGES

Why is Aids such a horribly tenacious disease? Statistics released by Unaids for World Aids Day share some encouraging developments — new HIV infections worldwide have decreased by 19 per cent since 1999. However, there is a disturbing lack of progress in reducing HIV infection among gay men, particularly in developing countries. Experts have long stated that HIV epidemics cannot be successfully quelled unless the underlying spread of HIV by male-to-male sex is addressed. Yet, across the globe, socially accepted homophobia and violence against sexual minorities have created barriers to HIV-prevention efforts in this population.

To shed light on a problem that concerns me deeply as a gay man, I spoke with Dr Robert Carr of the International Council of Aids Service Organisations — a leading advocate for human rights from the Caribbean. A disturbing picture emerged from our conversation of the ways politicians and religious and social leaders — all around the world — have justified the isolation, harassment, abuse, violation and even murder of sexual minorities in the name of preserving religious beliefs or family and community "values".

What follows in the wake of this inhumane treatment of stigmatised people is the inevitable rise in rates of HIV infections and deaths due to Aids, not only among vulnerable groups, but also within the general population. Fear and isolation prevent people exposed to the virus from seeking HIV testing and treatment, and the disease continues to spread unabated. "It can be very dangerous to be gay in the Caribbean," Dr Carr told me, "and to speak up is to risk bodily harm."

Although Caribbean attitudes about people living with HIV/Aids have become much more tolerant in recent years, the opposite has been the case for sexual minorities. Homosexuality triggers tremendous hostility in all sectors of Caribbean society. "There is great resistance to the idea that men who have sex with men, lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered persons are deserving of social and legal protections," Dr Carr said. "Many reject the idea that the brutalisation of sexual minorities is wrong."

What is true of the Caribbean is true of Africa and many other parts of the developing world. Such attitudes are encouraged by conservative religious leaders (backed by funding from right-wing evangelical organisations in the United States and Canada) waging a righteous "Christian war" against homosexuality to preserve what they see as traditional values and morality.

"Homosexuality has been declared a 'satanic influence', and gay people have been demonised and depicted as less than human," Dr Carr said. "There have been many documented instances of vicious attacks against gay people, which have been videotaped and posted on YouTube with comments applauding the violence as right and just."

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Raila Odinga has fuelled damaging stereotypes of homosexuals in the developing world. Moses is a gay Ugandan man seeking asylum in the US

I am proud to be a Canadian, but was disgusted and deeply saddened to discover that Canadian right-wing extremist religious groups would stoop to such sickening levels. According to Dr Carr, these people feel the Western world has fallen prey to these satanic influences (gay marriage is rightfully legal in Canada) and that they must turn their energies and their pocketbooks towards preserving the sanctity of the developing world. They are solely taking advantage of a part of our world where people are less educated to promote their own evil agenda.

This horrifying situation in the Caribbean is just one example of ingrained societal prejudices around the world resulting in inhumane behaviour that is highly counterproductive to reducing the spread of HIV infection. Dr Carr said: "Gay sex workers in some countries have been taken to detention centres and systematically raped in the name of 'curing' their homosexuality."

In Kenya and Uganda, religious groups have circulated photos, names, and addresses of gay rights activists to be placed on posters in communities and published in newspapers with messages urging that they should be killed. "In every case, deeply entrenched attitudes and prejudices, which have been taken for granted over a lifetime as being correct, have enabled people to do things they would otherwise find abhorrent," Dr Carr said.

Last week at the Elton John Aids Foundation office in London, I met a man named Alan who runs a support group for HIV positive men in Mombasa. I was floored when he showed me a flyer posted in major Kenyan towns by a Christian evangelical group called Project See. This flyer featured a photograph of David Kuria, the director of the Gay and Lesbian Coalition of Kenya. It shockingly encourages people to hunt him down and kill him. To aid in this goal, they printed Mr Kuria's phone number and email in bold type.

How this barbarism can exist is beyond my comprehension, but when it is encouraged in the name of Christianity it is truly repulsive. It directly flies in the face of the Christian values of love and forgiveness on which I was raised.

Adding fuel to this witch hunt is Raila Odinga, the Prime Minister of Kenya. On Sunday at a rally in his constituency, he said: "Homosexuals should be arrested and taken to the relevant authorities." What is happening in such situations, explains Dr Carr, is that people are "regarded as disposable, less than human". They are "left with no protection under the law and no means of seeking redress for the wrongs done to them", he said.

In recent years the Elton John Aids Foundation has funded innovative programs to establish models of how such misguided attitudes about sexual minorities and people living with HIV/Aids can be changed. Through a series of grants to the Caribbean Broadcast Media Partnership on HIV/Aids, the foundation has enabled community-based organisations, such as Dr Carr's Vulnerable Communities Coalition, to educate Caribbean radio stations and media groups — who have in the past fanned anti-homosexual fervour — about the connection between violence against sexual minorities and the rise in HIV infection.

As a result, over 90 Caribbean media outlets have joined together to produce documentaries, news reports, public service messages and entertainment programmes humanising gay people, promoting tolerance for sexual minorities and people living with HIV/Aids, and educating the public about the realities of the Aids epidemic.

Since the advent of this programme in 2004, there have been substantially improved relationships between the gay community and the police and even somewhat improved relationships with religious leaders. Programmes like this now need to be promoted in other parts of the world where 79 countries continue to criminalise sexual relationships between same-sex consulting adults. Until it is, the price of unreasoning hatred will be measured in human lives.

Source: The Independent UK.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 5:07 pm 
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The key to a happy relationship? Be gay. Or childless. Or make tea
by Richard Garner
Tuesday, 14 January 2014

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Joe (left), 26, and partner Will; the couple has been together for almost four years

Gay couples are likely to be happier and more positive about their relationships than heterosexuals, according to a major study by the Open University published today.

However, they are less likely to be openly affectionate towards each other – holding hands in public, for instance – because they still fear attracting disapproval.

The study of 5,000 people – 50 of whom were later followed up with in-depth interviews – aimed at finding out how modern couples keep their relationships on track through life’s difficulties. It found that simple things – like making a cup of tea in the morning and taking it up to them in bed – were the most treasured by couples as examples of intimacy rather than more dramatic gestures such as declaring “I love you”.

It was on the relative happiness of people within different types of relationships that the survey threw up the most interesting insights into modern day life, however. “LGBQ participants (lesbian, gay, bisexual and queer) are more generally positive about and happier with the quality of their relationship and the relationship which they have with their partner” the research concludes. “Heterosexual parents are the group least likely to be there for each other, to make ‘couple time’, to pursue shared interests, to say ‘I love you’ and to talk openly to one another.” But it added: “Public/private boundaries of ‘couple display’ remain fraught. Many LGBQ couples, especially the younger ones, say they would not hold hands in public for fear of reprisal.”

The study, funded by the Economic and Science Research Council, found that couples without children were generally likely to be happier than parents. In addition, mothers were the least likely group to be satisfied with their partners. Asked who is the most important person in their life, fathers were far more likely to select their partner than their children. In comparison, 74.8 per cent of mothers with children under five selected a child as their most important person – increasing to 78 per cent for the mothers of five-to nine-year-olds. By contrast, less than half the fathers of five to nine-year-olds selected the child (46.8 per cent) while 51.6 per cent selected their partner.

Despite this, the mothers were “significantly happier with life than any other group”, the study found. “From this it could be inferred that children are the primary source of happiness for women rather than a partner,” it said, “something that is corroborated by other survey data”. Fathers, though, were more likely to complain of a lack of sexual intimacy in the relationship and – confronted with the statement “my partner wants to have sex more than I do,” 40 per cent of mothers agreed or strongly agreed with the sentiment compared with just 10 per cent of fathers.

The survey concluded that it was “hard to pin down” what is meant by love in a relationship, adding: “The act of saying ‘I love you’ is identified as important by men and women alike but a loving gesture is far more highly valued.”

Dr Jacqui Gibb, co-author of the report, said: “Grand romantic gestures, although appreciated, don’t nurture a relationship as much as bringing your partner a cup of tea in bed or watching TV together.”

    Case study: Aware of the stares
    Joe, 26, from London, has been in a relationship with his partner Will for almost four years

    “Although I’ve never received physical or face-to-face abuse, I am very aware of stares and raised eyebrows when holding my partner’s hand. It took us a while to have the confidence to hold hands and kiss on the lips in public, for example when saying goodbye to each other. We spent a year saying our goodbyes at home in the morning rather than on the Tube, despite us both travelling in together, out of fear of potential disapproving looks or abuse. I know in London it’s probably much easier than other parts of the UK, or other countries around the world, but I don’t think we’ll ever feel 100 per cent comfortable in public as a couple.”

The pursuit of happiness: Secrets of success

Suggesting actions speak louder than words as far as loving relationships are concerned, the people surveyed said it was the things that their partners did for them that made them feel most appreciated. These included:

1. Says thank you and notices my achievements.
2. Buys thoughtful gifts and shows kind gestures – a cup of tea in bed was especially appreciated by mothers.
3. Talks with me and listens.
4. Physical affection, with cuddles and foot massages featuring prominently.
5. Shares the household chores and/or child care.

Source: Independent UK.

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