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PostPosted: Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:20 pm 
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The sport of male cheerleading is new to me too, so I've been surfing for some images to give me a better idea. From a strictly gay point of view it would almost seem impossible that a sport involving public displays of bright colours, dancing and jumping would not involve the gay community at some point. LOL.

Oh, yeah, sorry. These guys are not necessarily gay. Anyway, here are some images I found.

Image
From British rugby.

Image
The male cheerleader's strength helps the cheerleaders perform more complicated stunts. Here they demonstrate an example of a basic one deck stunt. Photo by Diana Frey.
From the article at Making it as a male cheerleader.

The comments at the end of the article, posted mostly by teenagers, give a clear idea of how male cheerleading is perceived by many. The words "fag" and "queer" are not there but clearly indicated in association with male cheerleading.

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PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 10:46 pm 
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On the subject of male cheerleaders - from the article you posted, Victor, it looks more like it's moving towards acrobatics, especially with men involved. But modern cheerleading has become somewhat of a cross between traditional cheerleading, aerobics and acrobatics anyway, stands to reason guys get more involved.

And from the comments of the high school guys that are into cheerleading, it's hard to tell if they're gay or not. Most won't come out at that age, and most will deny it fervently, I expect.

I fooled around with straight guys too when I was younger, I think it's a normal male thing to do - compare, as Johnny mentions. Met a few straight guys myself who didn't mind fucking a tight ass if they were really horny, and some straight guys go to glory hole places to get sucked off because the wife or girlfriend won't do it for them. That doesn't make them homosexual, IMO, just horny and practical about it.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 3:10 am 
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MikeZ wrote:
... I fooled around with straight guys too when I was younger, I think it's a normal male thing to do - compare, as Johnny mentions. Met a few straight guys myself who didn't mind fucking a tight ass if they were really horny, and some straight guys go to glory hole places to get sucked off because the wife or girlfriend won't do it for them. That doesn't make them homosexual, IMO, just horny and practical about it.


Ha ha! Hi there again MikeZ.
I love your characterisation of this activity, but I have also had some strong arguments from Kinsey 6 level gays, who maintain that if any male fucks another male -- seemingly even once -- then he is definitely gay. They seem ignorant of Dr Kinsey's broad spectrum of sexuality, with most of us falling into some level of bi-sexuality, which is how I would characterise those guys. Good on those who provide the suck off opportunities for them. JohnnyX.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 10:57 am 
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I don't know, Johnny, but it sounds like those Kinsey level 6 guys are of the type that consider every man gay until proven straight - like they're not even allowed to look at another man or that would immediately classify them as gay. Over the top, if you ask me.

I think the guys that go to glory holes to get a good sucking off are much more relaxed about their sexuality, they're obviously aware that if you want to get a good blow job you're better off getting a guy who likes to do it than trying to get the wife or girlfriend to reluctantly do you a favor.

Hey Victor, any history on glory holes? Can't imagine something so handy is new.
:grin:


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 1:11 pm 
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MikeZ wrote:
... I think the guys that go to glory holes to get a good sucking off are much more relaxed about their sexuality, they're obviously aware that if you want to get a good blow job you're better off getting a guy who likes to do it than trying to get the wife or girlfriend to reluctantly do you a favor.

Hey Victor, any history on glory holes? Can't imagine something so handy is new.
:grin:


Hello again MikeZ.
Yes, I agree with this part which I have retained from your post.

I didn't make the comment previously, but now that you use the term again twice in here: I had never previously encountered the term "glory hole". When I read it in your earlier note, I thought that you must have been talking about the anus / arsehole (no, I am not calling you an arsehole. rofl). However when I re-read it, within its context, it was obvious that you were talking about a special location.

So asking you to help with my own sex-education here please: is a "glory hole" the same as what people over here call a "beat" -- meaning a place reasonably well-enough known by the well-informed on the topic, where men go to meet other men for sex? Or does it have a more limited meaning, being limited to cock-sucking? Thanks in advance for becoming my teacher. LOL.
JohnnyX.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 1:28 pm 
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Alright, let me jump in for a sec on this very interesting conversation.
:grin:

Glory holes have a variety of meanings - caves with bore holes/water holes are called glory holes and the military have them too apparently.

But in gay sex a glory hole is a hole in the wall where you stick your dick through and someone on the other side sucks you off, after which the roles can be reversed. They can be a variety of sizes, up to and including big enough to stick your butt through for anal sex.

They can be found anywhere really, often in run down public toilets, somewhat camouflaged, but not new toilets generally. And often in the public toilets of remoter places like parks, etc. And lots of gay bars have them too, in combination with a dark room or separately of.

It's not a gay thing however, straight bars have them, as do video arcades. (Download "Arcade on Route 9" and you will see.)

And there are the Blowjob Bars, straight or gay, where you can sit at the bar, have a beer and get a blowjob by someone under the bar/behind a curtain or glory hole.

:grin: :grin: :grin:

(btw, I did find a memorable glory hole public toilet on the road, near to, Kununura. And it was full of stimulating gay sex texts as well.)

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 8:11 pm 
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This "hazing", what is that? Team bonding I understand, that is sex in the locker room, yes?
:grin:

If straight men are now to have gay sex it show that to be masculine is not only for straight men, right? I mean men that never have sex with men but only with women. Because if these hetero men now have sex with men and they are remaining hetero then if they are masculine, it means that masculinity is not only for 100% hetero.

I think it was always like that but now it is more relaxed for straight men to be having sex with other men and it does not take away from their heterosexuality.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 1:36 pm 
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victor wrote:
Alright, let me jump in for a sec on this very interesting conversation.
:grin:
...
But in gay sex a glory hole is a hole in the wall where you stick your dick through and someone on the other side sucks you off, after which the roles can be reversed. They can be a variety of sizes, up to and including big enough to stick your butt through for anal sex.
...
:grin: :grin: :grin:

(btw, I did find a memorable glory hole public toilet on the road, near to, Kununura. And it was full of stimulating gay sex texts as well.)


Oh boy! What an eye-opener, for this 60-year-old man!
All these years this has probably been going on around me, and I have been oblivious to it all. Oh the things that I have missed out on! LOL.
Thanks greatly Victor for this explanation. regards: JohnnyX.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 5:17 pm 
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Straight Men Who Have Sex With Men

Inside the secret world of the straight guise
By Tristan Taormino
July 31, 2008

Once again, a female singer has a hit song called "I Kissed A Girl"; I saw Katy Perry perform it on network television the other night. As she danced around in her cute yellow dress, I thought: "Wow, singing about lesbian smooching was pretty racy when Jill Sobule did it — same title and subject, different and better song — in 1995 on MTV." Now it's ready for prime time? Well, it's been almost 15 years. Plus, the whole idea isn't that threatening anymore. If a straight woman confesses she's messed around with another woman — even had full-blown sex with her — most people are quick to shrug it off. She was drunk. She's experimenting. At most, maybe this means she's bi-curious. But it's no big deal. Women have a lot more leeway to explore their sexuality with other women without questioning their orientation or setting any alarms off.

On the other hand, society doesn't make room for men to do the same. Can you imagine the flip side of this scenario? No, I don't mean Bon Jovi topping the charts with a new rock anthem called "I Made Out With a Guy." Let's say one of your male friends confesses: "I was at the club last night with Bob. The music was pounding, I had a few shots, and his hair just looked so good, so we made out, and I jerked him off in the bathroom." For most people, there's really only one response: "Dude, you're gay." Maybe, but maybe not.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than three million men who self-identify as straight secretly have sex with other men. Although there's been some mainstream dialogue about African-American men who have sex with men "on the down-low," there hasn't been much talk about white guys who do it. And there are plenty of them out there. Take a brief scroll through one day's worth of "Men Seeking Men" posts on New York City's Craigslist, and you'll find dozens of listings like "Str8 Guy Needs Great Cocksucker" or "Handsome Masculine Married Irish Guy Seeks One or Two Hung Married Irish Buddies Who Want Head and Maybe More." From the super-brief to the incredibly detailed, some posts offer interesting explanations:

Though I have always been hetero, I also have had a fantasy to anonymously suck cock and swallow his cum.

I am a married white male forty-six, six-one, one-ninety — a goodlooking, successful, Ivy-educated guy who finds himself in town alone this week. Not interested in changing my life in any major way, but do feel the occasional need to deal with this side of my nature.

I am married . . . looking to provide no reciprocation needed or wanted oral service for VERY masculine, verbal straight/bi/straight acting men. My clothes do not even have to come off. This is about YOUR pleasure . . . not mine.

These examples articulate some of the reasons why heterosexual men get it on with other men: for anonymous, no-strings-attached sex; to explore homoerotic desire without a gay identity or relationship; or to fulfill a fantasy, including one of dominance and submission.

"When these straight men have sex with other men, it is not about an attraction to the other man — it is about an attraction to the sex act," says Joe Kort (joekort.com), a licensed therapist in Michigan. "When asked about what they enjoy, it is never the actual man, but instead his body parts, the sexual behavior they engage in."

Many of Kort's clients (who are overwhelmingly white) are straight men who have sex with other men (SMSM). He's even created Straight Guise (straightguise.com), a website dedicated to the subject. He cites dozens of explanations for SMSM behavior: "Some have been sexually abused and are compulsively re-enacting childhood sexual trauma by male perpetrators; some have sex with men because it's easier and requires fewer social skills than those required to have sex with women; some are 'gay for pay'; some like the attention they receive from other men; some like anal sex, which they're otherwise too ashamed to talk about or engage in with their female partners."

He acknowledges that some of these men may be bisexual or closeted gay men, but in his experience in treating clients over an extended period, many of them are not. He believes that when it comes to sex, identity and orientation, preferences, fantasies, and behavior do not always neatly line up in one category. More often, they are complex and even contradictory.

Mike, whom I found on a personals website, is 44, married, and works on Wall Street. He has been having sex with men for four years, and says he likes the closeness and the male bonding. Plus, "It's just less complicated than with women. We're both there for sex, and that's it."

John, 35, also works in finance, identifies as straight, and is dating several women. But he mostly enjoys getting blowjobs from men: "There are less emotional complications for me. Many men will do things some women will not, and many men give better oral sex. I think men will exercise their hunger for sex and not deny that they are horny more so than women. They feel comfortable sexually bonding."

Both men admit that their female partners don't know about their behavior; in fact, their families and friends don't know.

Unlike some psychology professionals who want to pathologize these men, treat them for sexual addiction, or "cure them" of homosexuality, Kort approaches his clients without an agenda. He also unpacks some of the cultural baggage that contributes to this phenomenon: "They are interested in the sexual contact with other men. They are working through issues of father hunger, lack of touch from other males, and the need for contact with other men on deeper levels that women enjoy with each other and men do not.

Some of these men tell me they meet other men and really just want to be held and talk to the other men, but that the men they meet want it to be sexual, so they go through with it but really don't want to. Ironically, since men are not allowed to touch — except for a pat on the butt in sports — they use the sexual realm to find ways to touch each other and receive touch."

Please visit my websites, puckerup.com and openingup.net

Source: Los Angeles Weekly.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 25, 2009 9:05 am 
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From The Times
October 17, 2009
Sex advice: the fallout from a gay fling at work

Coming out of the closet as a married man is still no picnic, but your wife needs honesty as much as you do
Suzi Godson

Q: A gay colleague helped me while I was working late one evening. I said, in mock gratitude, "I could kiss you", to which he replied, "Why not?" Soon we were engaged in a sexual act. I feel very excited whenever I look back on the incident. Should I start a relationship with him, or try visiting a gay bar to find out whether this is what I really want, before discussing it with my wife? Or should I view the episode as a one-off?

A: Before we deal with the issue of your sexuality, I would like you to consider how you would feel if your wife "accidentally" had sex with one of her work colleagues and subsequently felt conflicted by a choice between (a) establishing a relationship with the man with whom she had sex, or (b) secretly experimenting with other men in order to establish whether she was (c) 100 per cent certain that she did, or didn"t, want to have sex with you any more. Harsh, isn"t it? Cheating is cheating, regardless of whether it is with a member of the same sex or of the opposite sex, and your confused sexuality does not excuse selfish or insensitive behavior.

Same-sex experimentation is pretty common. Research at Harvard School of Public Health in the US in 1994 found that 20.8 per cent of men and 17.8 per cent of women admitted to same-sex sexual behaviour at some point.

While one homosexual experience doesn"t define anyone as gay, a married man who re-evaluates his sexual identity as the result of a brief encounter can be sure that he isn"t completely heterosexual. Many men and women successfully ignore sexual attractions to people outside their marriage, but if the events you describe were just a one-off sexual experiment, you wouldn"t now be contemplating clandestine trips to gay clubs. Let"s face it, if you were incontrovertibly heterosexual this probably wouldn"t have happened in the first place, since total sobriety and a wife waiting at home would usually be more than enough to deter the average man from engaging in an impromptu sex act with a gay work colleague.

Your insistence that this event was not premeditated is somewhat reminiscent of the man who turns up in A&E having "slipped in the shower" and mysteriously lost a shampoo bottle, but it is true that sexuality doesn"t necessarily remain static and some people discover that they are attracted to men and women later in life. The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid uses seven component variables of sexual orientation to describe a person"s sexual proclivities, based on their past, present and ideal sexual disposition. Taking the test online (bisexual.org/kleingrid.html) would help you to gauge how much your behaviour, fantasies, emotional preferences, social preferences, lifestyle and self-identity may have shifted away from heterosexuality.

Growing acceptance and positive role models in popular media have helped to destigmatise homosexuality, but "coming out of the closet" as a married man is still no picnic, and, weirdly, for a man to declare himself bisexual seems even more problematic — there are almost twice as many bisexual women (2.8 per cent) as men (1.8 per cent) in the population.

The psychologist Beth Firestein speculates that this may be because male bisexuals feel "pressured to label themselves as homosexuals instead of occupying a difficult middle ground in a culture that has it that if bisexuals are attracted to people of both sexes, they must have more than one partner, thus defying society"s value on monogamy".

Right now you see only two options for yourself: to forget what has happened or to explore a possible gay identity in secret. But there is, in fact, a third way. Honesty is never the easiest option, but if you were to bite the bullet and explain what has happened to your wife, your "tremendous excitement" would be exposed for what it really is — a messy and difficult lifestyle choice with widespread implications for you and her.

While that truth might not necessarily set you free, it would set your wife free and allow her to make an informed decision about what she wants and deserves from her marriage.

Source: Times Online UK.

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PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 4:57 am 
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Are Straight Men an Endangered Species?
By Michael Tan
Philippine Daily Inquirer
1 May 2010

LAST year, the Catholic Bishops" Conference of the Philippines called for the banning of two pop songs from Dagtang Lason, a local rap group.

The two songs, "Banana" and "Nagmahal Ako. . .ng Bakla," were described as going against the teachings of the Catholic Church and corrupting minds of young people.

Readers can probably imagine what the lyrics of "Banana" involved, but "Nagmahal Ako" wasn"t quite sexually suggestive. Instead it rapped about a group of men saying that they"re now giving up on women because they"re weary of constantly being taken for fools and "loved" only for their money. The rappers then say they are now turning to gays instead, who would be more faithful — while providing financial stability.

"Nagmahal" comes at a time when people are indeed wondering if there"s more same-sex sex going on these days. The question is spurred in part by findings in the 2003 Young Adult and Sexuality Study from the University of the Philippines" Population Institute, which reported that compared to its previous survey, there"s been an increase in the percentage of men who said they"ve had male-to-male sexual experiences.

So what"s really going on? Are "straight" (heterosexual) men in the Philippines an endangered species?

My opinion is that all this is a matter of perception. In part because of gay rights groups emerging all over the world, including the Philippines, gay men and lesbians are now more "out," more visible.

In the past, there have always been courageous individuals, including the neighborhood bakla, who have been out in the open. But it"s only been in recent years that you have celebrities like Ricky Martin admitting they"re gay.

And because Ricky Martin doesn"t fit into the stereotype of the homosexual as an effeminate man, people start getting nervous. Women wonder about their brothers, their boyfriends, even their husbands. Men wonder about their sons, their brothers, their drinking buddies.

Amid more open attitudes, there has been a conservative backlash (pardon the pun). Conservatives talk about gay rights like it were some disease that came with modern times. But all that talk reflects a lack of awareness of history. Same-sex relationships have been going on for centuries all over the world, sometimes meeting with disapproval but more often with a live-and-let-live attitude.

We forget that the labels "homosexuality" and "heterosexuality" were coined fairly recently, in 19th century Europe, and used mainly as medical terms.

Think hard and you"ll realize we don"t have exact translations of those terms in the Philippines. Instead, we just have our labels "lalake," "babae," "bakla," "tibo." I feel uncomfortable translating those terms into "male heterosexual", "female heterosexual", "male homosexual" and "lesbian" because the labels were not intended to refer to sexual orientation in the first place. They are gender terms that describe what society expects of a person, from the way one is supposed to walk and talk, to what one should wear.

Technically then, bakla, a term that"s been used for a long time (as with bayot in Cebuano and agi in Ilonggo), did not mean "homosexual." The emphasis was on a man who was effeminate, even dressing up like a woman.

"Sexual orientation" and "sexual preference" are terms too that came into use only in the last century, so if you ask your neighborhood bakla beauty parlor attendant what his "sexual orientation" is, he might find it difficult explaining. Many bakla are repelled by the idea of having a sexual relationship with another bakla, which is described as pompyangan, literally a clashing of cymbals. A bakla-to-bakla relationship is considered "unnatural" and, the bakla themselves joke, could cause typhoons, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions.

Society actually "dictates" that the bakla should have relationships with "lalake," men who behave as men. And if you interview the men who go into such relationships, they will vehemently deny being homosexual, pointing out that they are quite masculine, that they have a wife and children, all that while continuing to insist they also love their bakla partner. Ask them if they would ever go into a relationship with another guy and you might get punched in the face with a protest and denial, "Pare, hindi ako bakla."

Note that there are younger Filipinos who self-identify as gay and who have no problem having sexual relationships with other gay men. But there"s a lot of role-play involved here, sometimes almost becoming absurd as every other gay Filipino male now claims to be "bisexual," to project some semblance of being masculine.

"Sexual attraction" is a textbook term that can"t quite capture what happens in the real world. The young adult sexuality study from UP "captured" more "bi-curious" males, young men exploring lalake-bakla relationships for any number of reasons — financial remuneration, the need to just get sex, genuine attraction, even love.

Other men and women never experience that "bi-curious" phase. Pushed on by "obligatory heterosexuality" imposed by society, they marry and then in mid-life, might realize that they are attracted to the same sex.

Ironically, in "hyper-masculinized" societies like our own, machismo may actually encourage same-sex relationships, what"s sometimes been referred to as "solidarity sex." Male bonding can be intense in the Philippines so don"t be surprised if those nights out with the boys become a bit more involved than you think, as it did with those cowboys in that American movie, "Brokeback Mountain."

Source: Showbiz & Style.

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